She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
