you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
