his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
