ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
