Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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