Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
