please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
