is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
