eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think your dad took our porno
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
