Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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