I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
