I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is wine microwaveable?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize