I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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