4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
