its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
