i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize