my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
