i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
