U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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