giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize