The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
