fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
