Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
