She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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