I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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