Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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