soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i need some magic done to my vagina
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
