worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
