The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize