I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
