I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
