she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
