Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
