There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
