belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
