do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
