For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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