At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
