Don't make out with my wife yet
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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