This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
