So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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