next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize