Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
