if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
