i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have already put on my inside pants.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize