so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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