Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
