I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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