Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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