I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
