I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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