Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
