DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
