loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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