Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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