Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
