have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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