Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
