Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
