What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize