This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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