I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
