cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
