Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
