people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
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