i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
