i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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