I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
