sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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