just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
