are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
